Steve Jobs was a wise man

Thursday 15 November 2012

Will it make your boat go faster?


I had an inspiring weekend last weekend. I went on a training day, the highlight of which was a talk by Ben Hunt-Davis. He won an Olympic gold medal in Sydney in the rowing eight. He told his incredible story and I would like to share the three main lessons I took away.

Quick Quote
"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks."  ~ Jack Penn

Suggestions on how to make progress
  1. Will it make the boat go faster? This was obviously a literal statement for Ben, but for many of us, it can be a great metaphor for "does it move us closer to our goal?". If you ask this question before any decision on how you're spending your time, it is a powerful way to move towards your goals. For example:
  • ​Is is a good idea to click on this internet link? Will it make the boat go faster? Be honest. Are you just getting distracted or procrastinating?
  • I haven't got time for yoga today. Will it make the boat go faster? Yes, it probably will. It is unlikely to contribute directly to your goal but if you don't nurture yourself you are likely to hinder any goal. Interestingly, in 2000, the boat team trained less hard than they had before previously unsuccessful competitions, so remember to pace yourself.
  1. Never give up. Ben had lost every major competition for the first seven years he was in the GB team. Would you have given up? The key was that he changed his approach, tried new things and carried on.
  2. Work as a team. – The ethos of the team was trust and honesty. If feedback needed to be given (or taken), however hard, it was on the understanding that it would make the boat go faster. Communication was key. Is there someone you need to communicate better with?
If you have any suggestions or success stories, please share them below.

Wednesday 26 September 2012

Health or wealth?


Question:
Dala Lama was asked what surprised him most about humanity

Answer:
Mankind because ...

  • He sacrifices his health in order to make money
  • Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health
  • Then he's so worried about the future he does not enjoy the present
  • The result being he does not live in the present or in the future
  • He lives as if he's never going to die
  • and dies never having really lived

Sunday 23 September 2012

Receive Team GB support


The question is..."is it all in your mind"?


I have had an amazing summer! I was privileged to go to several events at the Olympics. As I am sure you heard, the atmosphere was amazing. This had a major impact on the athletes resulting in a record number of British winning medals. It is this phenomenon which I would like to explore today:

It brought home to me the power of our minds. Arguably the difference between our athletes in Beijing and in London was not significant physically. The fundamental difference was the support. The support had a huge positive impact just by influencing their minds.

How can we utilise the incredible power of our minds on a daily basis to perform higher than we are currently achieving, through support?

Quick Quote
"What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds" ~ Wayne Dyer

Find your Team GB supporters
Support comes in many guises and although most of us won't be lucky enough to enjoy thousands of people chanting our name in encouragement, here are some great ways to ensure you have the support you deserve:
  1. Family - For the luckiest amongst us we are able to receive and provide unconditional love and support to/from our family. Lead by example and offer encouragement daily.
  2. Friends – Cherish your friends, be their "Team GB" and surround yourself with people who happily boost and encourage you.
  3. Coaches – You will receive support and encouragement from a coach and increase your self-belief. For example, people who work with me, without necessarily improving their natural ability, increase their confidence, strive for more and achieve greater results.
In my experience, a coach has a similar impact to a cheering crowd (albeit not so loud!). If you would like to benefit from this, please ring me on 07764 235394 to discuss how I can help you.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the incredible power of the mind, support and the Olympics at so please leave your comments below:


PS There are other ways to boost our minds but I am leaving those techniques for another time.

Friday 24 August 2012

Are you saving something for a special occasion?

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a
silk-paper-wrapped package:
'This,' - he said - 'isn't any ordinary package.'
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
'She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has
never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is it.'
He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he
was taking to the funeral house; his wife had just died.

He turned to me and said:
'Never save something for a special occasion.
Every day in your life is a special occasion.'
I still think those words changed my life.
Now I read more and clean less.
I sit on the settee without worrying about anything and just relax.
I spend more time with my family and friends and less at work.

Money is to be spent not saved.
I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to,
not survived through.

I no longer keep anything.
I use crystal glasses every day.
I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.
I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I
want to.

I go out with my friends whenever I want to rather than thinking I don't
have the spare money or time.
The words 'Someday...' and 'One Day....' are fading away from my dictionary.

If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see it, listen to it or
do it now.
I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't
be there the next morning, this nobody can tell.
I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.  
She might have told everyone how much she loved them.
I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food.
It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had
come.
Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.

Friday 27 July 2012

Determination is key...keep running...


I can’t wait for the Olympics to start and we are lucky enough to have tickets to a couple of events. The Olympians who are taking part are amazing, not so much because of their natural ability, more for their dedication. Most people are born with much innate ability. Only a few reach their full potential. My passion is helping people reach their potential given their current position (it’s too late for many of us to reach the Olympic stage!) and to achieve their own dreams however large or small. For me it is not about gaining Olympic gold, but about achieving the most you can. In this newsletter I am going to talk about dedication – determination and perseverance. What can we learn from these elite athletes?

This 3 minute video is inspiring (made me cry!): Click here. Let me know what you think by commenting below.


Quick Quote
"The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running." ~ Author unknown
in reference to Ecclesiastes 9:11, "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."


Never give up

​1.       Be clear on why you are aiming for your goal – a strong “why” will keep you motivated when the going gets tough
2.       Surround yourself with people who believe in you and stay away from doubters and nay-sayers
3.       Make some progress every day whilst understanding that everyone has set-backs and that the path is unlikely to be smooth
4.       Don’t break the chain – print off a wall chart with the days of the year on and mark off every day when you make a step, however small, towards your goal. Aim to build a very long chain without breaking it.
5.       Reward yourself for your achievements – time with a friend, relaxation time. And be kind to yourself by acknowledging every effort you make however small.

If you have any suggestions or stories, please share them

Tuesday 8 May 2012

Is it possible to have it all?

Last week, during a course I attended on taking my business to the next level, I was forced to confront a dichotomy which has bugged me for the last couple of years. Is it possible to go "all out" to achieve a goal and at the same time achieve balance? As someone who naturally likes to give everything to achieving a goal once I have set it, it is sometimes hard to maintain the balance I strive for. Also I have noticed that many people who are successful in their work either later struggle with burnout or lack satisfaction in their personal life, and people who focus on another priority such as their family don't achieve all that they hoped for in their working life. Is it possible to have it all?

7 Practical ways to "have it all"

  1. It is not a race. Striving for challenging goals is a positive way to grow and to achieve great things. But make sure the timelines are realistic and commensurate with the amount of time you have to spend on them. If you are only working 30 hours a week, it will take longer to achieve your goal than if you are working 60 hours, although you do need to be commiting a "critical mass" of time for some goals.
  2. Ensure that you have goals for all aspects of your life including your health, fitness and time with people who are important to you to maintain balance.
  3. Segment your life so that whilst you are at work you are focussing on work, and whilst you are with people you love you are focussing on them (ban all additional appendages such as iphones when you are spending quality time with someone)
  4. Manage your time efficiently and effectively so that you are being truly productive when you are in "work mode".
  5. Ask for help, delegate and make sure you build a strong support structure
  6. Accept that there will be times when life is slightly out of balance but you are achieving lots in a certain area. If possible, try and keep those periods finite and as short as possible, or worst case, if things get really crazy, make sure you have scheduled breaks for the other people and things important in your life when you can.
  7. Acknowledge that nothing and no-one is perfect and keep a sense of humour when things don't go to plan!
This is all easier said than done, and it is a continuous process. Contact me if you would like support, structure and help finding your own practical solutions.
Please comment and share your challenges and solutions.  It is great to be able to learn from each other.

Thursday 29 March 2012

Are you selfish if you spend time on yourself?

I have many clients who have numerous responsibilities such as children, jobs, businesses, houses, cars, parents... They feel overwhelmed and often it is the "me time" which gets usurped. We can feel that we are being a "martyr" for giving so much - time, energy, compassion, and that some day we will be rewarded for our commitment and hard work. I like to think of myself as a Golden Goose, laying golden eggs. The eggs are the things I create, nurture, develop or support. Without a healthy Golden Goose, there are no golden eggs.

It is pertinent to note that when on an aircraft, we are told that if there is a shortage of oxygen to fit our own mask first. This then puts us in a strong position to help others including our children.


Quick Quote
“It’s hard to be selfish and it’s easy to self-sacrifice.” ~ Nathaniel Brandon

A fun exercise to better understand your priorities

  1. Write down on a piece of paper, your top ten priorities in order (most important first) from the list below
      Housework       Career/business       Hobbies
      Sprituality       Personal Development       Friends
      Relatives       Children       Relaxation
      Health       Challenge       Dreams
      Fun       Me       Diet
      Exercise       Partner       Love
      Passion       Home       Environment
      Income       Travel       Material possesions

  1. Circle those which promote the health, energy and motivation of the golden goose
  2. Underline those which represent golden eggs
Questions to ask yourself:
  • Do you have enough priorities which take care of the golden goose?
  • Are you living according to those priorities on a daily basis?
  • What changes could you make to move your time towards your priorities?
What is truly good for you, is truly good for everyone else.

If you would like to go through a more detailed version of this exercise with my support, or would like support in helping achieve some of your priorities, please ring me on 07764 235394.

Do you think it is selfish to have "me" as your top priority? Please give me your reactions and let me know your thoughts.

Thursday 15 March 2012

Real mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids

Happy Mother’s Day!

Real Mothers don’t eat quiche;
They don’t have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn’t come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don’t want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask ‘Why me?’
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, ‘Because I love you best..’

Real Mothers know that a child’s growth
is not measured by height or years or grades…

It is marked by the progression of Mummy to Mum to Mother…

The Images of a Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE – My Mummy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE – My Mum knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE – My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE – Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE – Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE – That old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE – Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE – Before we decide, let’s get Mum’s opinion.
45 YEAR S OF AGE – Wonder what Mum would have thought about it
65 YEARS OF AGE – Wish I could talk it over with Mum.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows
and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

I love this poem - gives me a great excuse for my dirty oven too!
Pass it on to other great Mums out there today and boost them too..

Thanks to parenting expert Sue Atkins for this lovely poem

Wednesday 29 February 2012

Food Glorious Food

I was bringing my son home from football practice the other day and gave him his “treat of the day” (an established house rule of one sweet thing a day) in the car – a toffee. I asked him if he would like some music on, or prefer it quiet. He said “quiet please because then I can concentrate on my sweet”. He innately knows how to really enjoy food and appreciate his experience of taste. I wonder if we all started that way. This coincided with some training I received on helping people with weight loss (see current offerings if you are interested in this) so, in this newsletter, I offer some simple suggestions on how to enjoy your food more whilst maintaining a healthy weight.

Quick Quote
"A good meal ought to begin with hunger" ~ A French Proverb

Simple suggestions to enjoy food and maintain a healthy weight
  1. Wear a blind fold, or close your eyes when you are eating – yes, you read that right! By taking out our sense of sight, it heightens our sense of taste and helps us focus on the taste and enjoy our food more. You don't have to wear a blindfold all the time, just try it once or twice. Get someone to feed you for fun!
  2. Eat slower (and sitting down) – as above, it helps us focus on what we are eating so we can enjoy it more. Have you ever eaten on the run and realised that you have not enjoyed it or even realised you have eaten. It just happened. By sitting down, creating time (ideally 20 minutes per main meal), and consciously eating slower (put your cutlery down between mouthfuls) we can enjoy it more. In fact, a study as shown that eating too quickly can contribute directly to over-eating: study on eating too fast
  3. Eat smaller portions – wearing a blind fold or closing your eyes when eating has been shown to help us eat the right amount for our body as we can perceive when we are full easier. Better still, cook less than you need and fill up on fruit afterwards. If you do cook too much and “don't want to waste it” then accept that putting it on your “waist” is not helping either. Put it in the fridge for tomorrow or compost it and recycle the nutrients.
  4. Eat breakfast every day. Add some dried fruit, some chopped fresh fruit and a glass of juice and you've already eaten 2 of your 5 a day – bonus! (If you don't have time for breakfast, get up 10 minutes earlier - it will give you energy). Eating breakfast has also been shown to help with over-eating later in the day: eating breakfast-fact vs myth
  5. Exercise and fresh air– I always think food tastes much better when you've had some exercise, especially if you have been outside. It also means you are less likely to put on weight of course! Try and exercise at least 3 times a week doing something you enjoy.
  6. Carry round healthy snacks for you, and your kids if you have them, so that you are less tempted to buy junk when you are out and about. Convenient snacks to leave in your bag are dried fruits, seeds, nuts (not roasted or salted), oatcakes. Please tell me your favourites.
  7. Don't deprive yourself – allow yourself one treat a day (a couple of squares of good quality chocolate or the occasional bag of baked crisps is ok, as is the odd glass of wine). I had one lady who lost lots of weight just using this one principle!
  8. Be drink aware – A couple of glasses of wine is about the same as a mars bar. Add up the calories in the drinks you consume in a week, including all alcoholic and soft drinks. It can be surprising. This may be helpful: drink aware tools
I asked a friend of mine who had lost quite a lot of weight, how he had kept it off. He said “when my trousers get a bit tight, I don't buy the next size up, I eat less because it becomes uncomfortable. So the trick seems to be “listen” to your waist band.

If you have any suggestions or success stories, please share them

Wednesday 8 February 2012

The Daffodil Principle

I read this story by Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards a while ago, but it has stayed with me so I decided to share it with you. A very powerful but simple principle...

"Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead.


"I will come next Tuesday, " I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car."
"How far will we have to drive?"
"Just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."
After several minutes, I had to ask, "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"
"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."
"Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around."
"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand-lettered sign that said, "Daffodil Garden."

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns-great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn.

"It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home."

Carolyn pointed to a well kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one."50,000 bulbs," it read.
The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

There it was, The Daffodil Principle. For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun ~ one bulb at a time ~ to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable (indescribable) magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time ~ often just one baby-step at a time ~ and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

Apparently this story is true and the garden is below Running Springs, California, in the San Bernadino Mountains.

I would love to know what your daffodil garden looks like...

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Create your 3 magic words for 2012

Happy New Year!
I have noticed that decreasing numbers of people bother with New Year's resolutions. Those that do, tend to have resolutions based around changing a habit, and there is a big gap between wanting to change a habit and actually doing it. I have two suggestions. Firstly, use NLP to change habits (see later section on current offerings). Secondly create three magic words for your year ahead. Your magic words should be areas of focus, which together form your holistic vision. If you are finding it hard to get focussed after the holidays, this can really help.
Quick Quote

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”


Create your three magic words

To create your vision:
  • Choose three magic words which will help you focus and create a vision for your 2012. Imagine how you would like to be and make sure they are things which you have not already achieved. My personal words are growth, presence (being in the moment and not worring about the future or thinking about the past) and fun. For my business, my words are courage, persistence and synergy.
  • Create a vision board or an audio depending on whether you prefer to see or hear your motivational words. Include your three words and anything else which inspires you. Find or draw pictures which reflect the words you have chosen or create metaphors for your words. Look/listen to it every day. You could even make a screen saver with your three words on.
  • Imagine you are embodying your three words. With a clear 3-4 metres in front of you, close your eyes and imagine how you feel and what you see and hear in your current situation. Take 2 steps forward and, saying your three magic words, imagine that you are moving towards them. Finally, take a further 2 steps and imagine yourself achieving your three words. Allow yourself to be immersed. Repeat this exercise when you need a boost.
  • Share your words by commenting below. There is nothing like sharing your vision to provide some accountability!
  • Let me know how you are doing. I love to hear when you make progress, and of course, I am always happy to help if you are stuck.
If you find any of the above steps hard, give me a ring on 07764 235394 and we can arrange a time for me to help you. I can even help you embody your three words over the phone!

 Let me know what your three words are!