Is it possible to have it all?

Last week, during a course I attended on taking my business to the next level, I was forced to confront a dichotomy which has bugged me for the last couple of years. Is it possible to go "all out" to achieve a goal and at the same time achieve balance? As someone who naturally likes to give everything to achieving a goal once I have set it, it is sometimes hard to maintain the balance I strive for. Also I have noticed that many people who are successful in their work either later struggle with burnout or lack satisfaction in their personal life, and people who focus on another priority such as their family don't achieve all that they hoped for in their working life. Is it possible to have it all?

7 Practical ways to "have it all"

1. It is not a race. Striving for challenging goals is a positive way to grow and to achieve great things. But make sure the timelines are realistic and commensurate with the amount of time you have to spend on them. If you are only working 30 hours a week, it will take longer to achieve your goal than if you are working 60 hours, although you do need to be commiting a "critical mass" of time for some goals.
2. Ensure that you have goals for all aspects of your life including your health, fitness and time with people who are important to you to maintain balance.
3. Segment your life so that whilst you are at work you are focussing on work, and whilst you are with people you love you are focussing on them (ban all additional appendages such as iphones when you are spending quality time with someone)
4. Manage your time efficiently and effectively so that you are being truly productive when you are in "work mode".
5. Ask for help, delegate and make sure you build a strong support structure
6. Accept that there will be times when life is slightly out of balance but you are achieving lots in a certain area. If possible, try and keep those periods finite and as short as possible, or worst case, if things get really crazy, make sure you have scheduled breaks for the other people and things important in your life when you can.
7. Acknowledge that nothing and no-one is perfect and keep a sense of humour when things don't go to plan!

This is all easier said than done, and it is a continuous process. Contact me if you would like support, structure and help finding your own practical solutions.
Please comment and share your challenges and solutions.  It is great to be able to learn from each other.

Are you selfish if you spend time on yourself?

I have many clients who have numerous responsibilities such as children, jobs, businesses, houses, cars, parents... They feel overwhelmed and often it is the "me time" which gets usurped. We can feel that we are being a "martyr" for giving so much - time, energy, compassion, and that some day we will be rewarded for our commitment and hard work. I like to think of myself as a Golden Goose, laying golden eggs. The eggs are the things I create, nurture, develop or support. Without a healthy Golden Goose, there are no golden eggs.

It is pertinent to note that when on an aircraft, we are told that if there is a shortage of oxygen to fit our own mask first. This then puts us in a strong position to help others including our children.

Quick Quote
“It’s hard to be selfish and it’s easy to self-sacrifice.” ~ Nathaniel Brandon

A fun exercise to better understand your priorities

1. Write down on a piece of paper, your top ten priorities in order (most important first) from the list below

      Housework       Career/business       Hobbies
      Sprituality       Personal Development       Friends
      Relatives       Children       Relaxation
      Health       Challenge       Dreams
      Fun       Me       Diet
      Exercise       Partner       Love
      Passion       Home       Environment
      Income       Travel       Material possesions

2. Circle those which promote the health, energy and motivation of the golden goose
3. Underline those which represent golden eggs

Questions to ask yourself:

• Do you have enough priorities which take care of the golden goose?
• Are you living according to those priorities on a daily basis?
• What changes could you make to move your time towards your priorities?

What is truly good for you, is truly good for everyone else.

If you would like to go through a more detailed version of this exercise with my support, or would like support in helping achieve some of your priorities, please ring me on 07764 235394.

Do you think it is selfish to have "me" as your top priority? Please give me your reactions and let me know your thoughts.

The secret to looking and feeling great

Are you one of the 22 million adults in Britain who say that they are unable to take as much exercise as they feel they should? You are not alone! In this post we will look at 7 steps to help you get fitter.

Quick Quote
“Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” ~ Edward Stanley

Put exercise back into your routine

1. Create motivation - describe how you will benefit from exercise or enter an event. If you choose to exercise to fulfil a desire (to be lighter, able to run with the kids, healthier, clearer minded) rather than thinking you should do it, you are more likely to succeed. Doing a sponsored run, walk or other event is also extremely motivating

2. Decide what you enjoy doing. Many of my clients have started Zumba, dance, or a racquet sport. I am learning to ice-skate. Other clients have taken up yoga, walking, swimming or exercising with their kids (and don't just watch them!). Enjoyment is key to sustainability.

3. Find out where you can do this activity - do the research and find out what is available
Work out when you can do it.

4. Make sure it fits with your schedule - on the way to or from work for example. Many gyms give you cheap rates if your child is in a class. If you do it first thing in the morning you will feel great all day!

5. Put it in your diary for the next 2 months as a regular appointment so that it becomes a habit (if you can) - make it sacred time. If you can't make it, move the time, don't delete it.

6. Find someone else to do it with - you are more likely to keep it up if someone else is there to encourage you

7. Bonus exercise - walk instead of driving and run up the stairs instead of taking the lift - I know you've heard it before but...

By the way, don't aim for 7 times a week as you are likely to fail and may give up altogether. Start doing something once, twice or three times a week and build up.

If you can't find the time, give me a ring! I help people, both through coaching and through my time management courses, find the time for the important things - it is possible!
Why not share your new exercise by commenting below- there's nothing like telling everyone what you are doing to create accountability!

Create holiday times every week

I hope you all managed to have a break over Easter and enjoyed a change of pace. I thoroughly enjoyed a family break in Lancashire. I had some quality time with the kids and some lovely evenings with my husband, Andrew. Some of the time that I enjoyed with my family wasn't location specific - for example, we played games instead of watching tv. It got me thinking, what is it about holidays that we enjoy, and how can we translate that into our everyday lives?

Quick Quote

“Holiday is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer”

Tips to get that holiday feeling

First, think of what it is you enjoy about your holidays and write them down. Here are some thoughts which may resonate with you, but I'm sure you will have your own personal favourites:

• time away from work (if you have a job)  
• less domestic chores - washing, cooking, cleaning  
• quality time with people you love  
• opportunities to relax  
• good food & wine  
• sunshine & time outdoors  
• fun activities and experiences  
• new places to see 

Now, take each one in turn, and next to it, write down how you can achieve that on a regular basis. Here are some ideas:

1. Use the deadline effect to create free time - have you ever noticed how much you achieve just before you go on holiday? Why is this? It is partly because you have a real deadline and you become very efficient, doing only those jobs which absolutely need doing. How can you create this effect every week? Can you create a deadline every Friday, for example which allows you to leave work a little earlier, or stop doing household chores?  
2. Do less domestic chores - wouldn't that be lovely I hear you cry? Could you lower your standards, and do less ironing for example? As my son said to me "I don't want clean clothes, I want time with you, Mummy"  
3. Schedule time for things which are important to you - if you don't prioritise them, and you don't put them on the family calendar, or in your diary, they are much less likely to happen. Schedule time for you - a class, exercise, time to relax (Wednesdays is pilates for me) and time for friends and family that you want to see. Why not make friday evenings a special family meal and Sunday afternoons, family activity time, for example?  
4. Create an evening out at home - ok, so it would be lovely to be sipping wine Al fresco with a waiter delivering fine food, but why not treat yourself at home? Switch off the tv, set the table with a tablecloth and candles, dress up as though you are going out, open a bottle of wine, put your taste of music on, and spend some time doing a delicious meal (there are plenty of shops willing to help us out with ready made dinners for two if you don't enjoy cooking!). If your kids are slightly older they may enjoy being waiters for you! See where the evening takes you...  
5. Get out whilst the sun shines - I'd love to be a magician and create hot sunshine in Edinburgh in April (its currently 2 degrees - brrrr), but I do try and get out to enjoy the sun when it shines.  
6. Explore areas close to home - if you like new activities and places to explore, try looking close to home. Many people have not done the "tourist" activities in their home town, or done all the day trips. 

If you have any other idea that you would like to share, please comment here so that everyone can benefit!