Focus on the people you love

One of my clients is very lucky to be alive having just been in a horrific car crash. With her permission, she is allowing me to share one of her responses to this accident - "I feel lucky to be here with my family and friends and want to let them know how much they mean to me." She has decided to send them cards with heartfelt wishes in them. Valentines day is a commercial day when we often feel obliged to buy things for our other half or feel bad if we don't have one. I think a better idea is to focus regularly on the people who are important to you, through communicating more with them and/or spending more time with them. I have a quick exercise to help you.


Quick Quote

“The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being.” ~ Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lamat

Are you spending enough time with the people who are important to you?


1.Write down, in the middle of a page, the people who mean the most to you and draw a circle round them (imagine you had a day to live. These are the people you'd like to be with). This is your closest circle.

2.Around that, write down the people who are important in your life, but not in your closest circle and draw a circle around them.

3.Finally, write down the people you interact with regularly but who you wouldn't regard as being close to

4.In a different colour, next to each person's name, write how much time you have spent with each person over the last month (on the phone or in person)

5.Highlight those people you would like to be spending more time with, and those you would like to spend less with

6.Decide how you can make that happen (if you are struggling, my time management course will help!)

7.To take it one step further, communicate more deeply with the people in your closest circle, in writing (as my client is doing), by phone, or in person

What would your response have been to surviving a car crash? Share your thoughts