Back to basics - could you benefit?

Quick Quote


“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained” ~ Winston Churchill

Back to basics in the snow

My main lessons from the snow experience are:

1. Snow is loads of fun and means you can be a big kid again (which I don't do often enough)

2. When you are only able to accomplish the essentials, that is ok. It has forced me to prioritise

3. It's amazing what you can achieve on foot (shopping with a sledge is an interesting experience) and I am now fitter than I was

4. Basic human requirements become very important - warmth, food and drink (we had lots of blankets, food and water when we set off in the car at the weekend)

5. Most people are community minded and willing to help each other when times get tough, even strangers

6. Always have a plan B. My parents are due up for Christmas and after their flight was cancelled I started planning a second, late Christmas in case they don't make it in time. They are currently on a train and we are keeping fingers crossed...

What have you learnt from the snow?

What are you going to change as a result, when the snow abates?

Let me know by commenting here...

The Twelve Tips of Christmas

Just in case you hadn't noticed, Christmas is approaching! It is easy to get overwhelmed by the paraphernalia and feel exhausted just thinking about it. I have put together a few tips which you may not already do, to help smooth the path. And don't forget, now is about the right time to be making your Christmas cake if you plan to make your own!

Traditions

1. Create memorable family traditions - be creative. It is often these which make Christmas special. Ideas: Beforehand do something for charity with the kids, bake gifts for friends/neighbours or do some Christmassy art and crafts. Make Christmas eve special by reading books by candlelight or going to the cinema and on Christmas day have a hike after lunch or a Christmas family football or rounders match.

Food

2. Freeze warming meals ahead of guests arriving

3. Book a grocery delivery slot well in advance for pre-Christmas delivery

4. Give everyone responsibility for one aspect of Christmas dinner

Presents/cards
5. Write an electronic card list as printable address labels to re-use every year

6. If cash conscious, offer services e.g. baby-sitting or being their personal shopper

7. For people with too much “stuff” ask for/buy experiences, memberships or days out (for kids too)

8. Buy presents for kids online and get them sent straight to their parents to wrap (do the same for them) if they are not local. Otherwise order online and pick up in store

9. Buy spare chocolates in case you forget anyone!

10. Wrap presents as you buy them

On the day

11. Have pen/paper to record who presents are from

12. Enjoy...it’s about fun time together... and don’t seek perfection



If you have any tips you would like to share, just let me know here...

Create more time by giving others responsibility

Give responsibility to others!

My 5 year old came down wearing one sock over the weekend. I sent him upstairs to find the other one. He returned with a different sock which didn't match. "It doesn't matter" he said...and he was right! In the grand scheme of things does it really matter if he is wearing odd socks? And is it worth crushing his fledgling independence to make him conform to my prior beliefs and expectations? I don't think so. Today I am going to ask how much responsibility you give when you delegate a task to your kids, partner, colleagues or friends.

Quick Quote

 "The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence" ~ Dennis Waitley

Benefit from delegating

I'd like you to think about how often you delegate, both at home, and if relevant, at work. What are your aims?

Do you aim to:

• get the job done to the highest standard 
• receive the output you are expecting?

 Would it be better to:

•  get the job done to a "good enough" standard
• develop the person you are giving responsibility to
• learn from how the other person approaches the task?

Don't moan about how much you have to do - ask for help. As an example (but there are many more!), next time you ask for help loading the dishwasher, don't re-do it afterwards because its not exactly how you normally do it - this makes your helpers feel undervalued and will put them off helping again. Instead, when asking for help to complete a task:

• Work out how much it matters and what "good enough" is
• Assess the ability of the person you are delegating to and give them guidance in areas you think might help them
• Specify the things you are particular about so they get it right first time (but try to restrain yourself from specifying every last detail!).

A story which generates faith in humankind and the inspiration to be audacious

I had the privilege to be invited to the great hall in Edinburgh castle last week for an evening do. It was quite an experience and made me feel special even though I had only done the same as 111,000 other women across the UK - taken part in the Breakthrough Cancer study, which was initiated and led by Professor Anthony Swerdlow. I was able to talk directly to this amazing man, and it is his vision and determination, and what we can learn from it, which I would like to share with you today.


Quick Quote

“He whose ranks are united in purpose will be victorious.” ~ Sun Tzu

A story which generates faith in humankind and the inspiration to be audacious
Professor Swerdlow's audacious vision:

•create a study of 100,000 women over 40 years to allow scientists to identify the factors which contribute to the development of breast cancer

His achievement after 10 years:

•111,000 women across the UK have contributed to the Breakthrough Generations study after 10 years and exciting new discoveries are already being unearthed

This has been possible both because of the individual leader and because of the united masses:

1. Professor Anthony Swerdlow was prepared to ask for funding for a 40 year project (the first response was that he was mad) and believed it was possible when others were doubtful.

2. 111,000 women in Britain were united in the desire to give valuable time and blood samples because they believed their contribution could help, with no immediate personal gain. Only the first few women were asked directly by Breakthrough Generations to participate. Incredibly nearly everyone has taken part having been introduced to it by friends and family.

What are you afraid to try / ask for?

Is there anything which you would like to achieve or change but are afraid to try? Is there a bigger cause which you would like to stick your neck out for or is there something within your organisation, business or home which you would like to change? This could be anything from developing a new charity to asking to go part-time, implementing a new business idea or asking someone for help. Are you afraid of failing, being rejected or being told "no"? My advice:

•Create a clear vision of what you'd like to achieve or change (be audacious!)

•Have faith in human spirit - most people are helpful and understanding, and garner support wherever possible

•Just ask - you never know!

If you would like help clarifying your vision or overcoming the barriers to achieving your vision / making a particular change, coaching can really help you - if you just ask! It's amazing what you can achieve with support. Just email anna@balancedmum.com or ring 07764 235394 to discuss how I can help you or find more information on http://www.balancedmum.com/.

The aim of this newsletter is not to recruit more people for the study but if you are interested in finding out more, their website is http://www.breakthroughgenerations.org./uk

A technique to overcome procrastination

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"If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it." ~Olin Miller

A technique to overcome procrastination (1 hour of productive time)

1. Take 2 subjects/projects/areas of work which are very different, including one which you have been resisting. We will call them project A and B

2. Get a kitchen timer or stopwatch or use your mobile timer

3. Use the following sequence to work on your projects:

• Project A (5 minutes exactly)

• Project B (5 minutes exactly)

• Project A (10 minutes exactly)

• Project B (10 minutes exactly)

• Project A (15 minutes exactly)

• Project B (15 minutes exactly)



Tips to make this method work:

• Do not allow yourself to get distracted by anything else. If you do get distracted, just restart the timer from the time at the beginning of the distraction

• Be strict about stopping when the time is up - it is easier to restart something which is incomplete than to start something new

• Start the next project immediately without a gap

• Make sure the projects are quite distinct from each other

• Give yourself limited targets for each time burst (break your project down into bite-sized, manageable chunks)

• Be prepared to have unfinished work lying around. Use a plastic folder to keep it in if it's paperwork. This will give you an incentive to finish it!

PS I like having time to focus on one thing so I was seriously sceptical about this approach, but believe me, it works! Just give it a try...

If you like this, then you will like my course: http://www.balancedmum.com/Time-To-Achieve.pdf

Holiday heaven....or hell?

“Those that say you can't take it with you never saw a car packed for a holiday trip” ~ unknown


Top ten tips for an enjoyable holiday

1. If possible, get your parents or other family to join you on holiday so that you can have some time off on your own and as a couple

2. In the week before you go away on holiday, don't put clothes away that you intend to take with you. Start piles for each member of the family which can then be quickly piled into suitcases

3. Use plastic bags as "drawers" when you pack to keep things organised, and have a light and dark washing bag to fill up during the holiday (extra tip - have dark and light washing bags in your washing basket so stuff gets sorted as it goes in!)

4. Create an electronic "to take" list for holidays with additional sub-lists for self catering or camping - just print it off each time and make any subtle changes required and similarly, create an electronic "to do" list as well which reminds you to take the bin out, sort out the pets, cancel the cleaner etc.

5. Buy a couple of new Cds, books or Dvds (or save from Christmas) for the journey and make sure you have a rainy day kit with a few fun things to bring out if necessary

6. For very young children, a drink is a good idea for flights at take off and descent, and for older children lollipops are always popular, as they can find it hard to swallow on demand

7. Book your kids into some activities (in your home town or when away) to buy yourself some "me time"

8. Discuss with all members of your family what they would like to get out of their holiday, and the key activity/visit they would like to do. Make sure everyone gets their number 1 request, assuming their request is practical (imaginations need to be tempered sometimes!)

9. Although the priority is to relax, kids especially still need some routine so make sure you still have enough structure to each day to keep things calm, even if it is only regular meal times.

10. Try and see the fun in every situation, relax and take loads of photos to keep you going through the winter months!

Thanks to Fiona from Manic Mums for the topic idea.

Do you have any tips which you would like to add? Please let us know so that others can benefit too...

New course for you - Time to Achieve!

Do you:

o Feel that you need more hours in your day

o Wish that you were more organised

o Have a list of “mustn’t forgets” and “should be doings” whizzing round your head

o Waste time searching for everyday items or documents

o Find yourself bogged down by everyday trivia

o Wish you had more balance in your life

o Have things in your life that you’d like to achieve but don’t get around to?


Would you like to:

o Understand how you currently spend your time

o Decide what your priorities are and what you’d like to achieve

o Develop systems to organise your “stuff” and become free of clutter

o Learn techniques to organise your time and get things under control

o Discover how to overcome procrastination and get things done?

Achieve all this and more by booking onto the next Edinburgh course over 3 Sunday evenings 6:30pm – 9pm: September 5th, 12th & 26th for just £127 (including a FREE 31 day document diary)

Don’t procrastinate! Book now whilst there are still spaces left, by emailing anna@balancedMum.com or phoning 07764 235394

For more details visit http://www.balancedmum.com/Time-To-Achieve.pdf . Also check out the free “stuff” on www.BalancedMum.com

Create holiday times every week

I hope you all managed to have a break over Easter and enjoyed a change of pace. I thoroughly enjoyed a family break in Lancashire. I had some quality time with the kids and some lovely evenings with my husband, Andrew. Some of the time that I enjoyed with my family wasn't location specific - for example, we played games instead of watching tv. It got me thinking, what is it about holidays that we enjoy, and how can we translate that into our everyday lives?

Quick Quote

“Holiday is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer”

Tips to get that holiday feeling

First, think of what it is you enjoy about your holidays and write them down. Here are some thoughts which may resonate with you, but I'm sure you will have your own personal favourites:

• time away from work (if you have a job)  
• less domestic chores - washing, cooking, cleaning  
• quality time with people you love  
• opportunities to relax  
• good food & wine  
• sunshine & time outdoors  
• fun activities and experiences  
• new places to see 

Now, take each one in turn, and next to it, write down how you can achieve that on a regular basis. Here are some ideas:

1. Use the deadline effect to create free time - have you ever noticed how much you achieve just before you go on holiday? Why is this? It is partly because you have a real deadline and you become very efficient, doing only those jobs which absolutely need doing. How can you create this effect every week? Can you create a deadline every Friday, for example which allows you to leave work a little earlier, or stop doing household chores?  
2. Do less domestic chores - wouldn't that be lovely I hear you cry? Could you lower your standards, and do less ironing for example? As my son said to me "I don't want clean clothes, I want time with you, Mummy"  
3. Schedule time for things which are important to you - if you don't prioritise them, and you don't put them on the family calendar, or in your diary, they are much less likely to happen. Schedule time for you - a class, exercise, time to relax (Wednesdays is pilates for me) and time for friends and family that you want to see. Why not make friday evenings a special family meal and Sunday afternoons, family activity time, for example?  
4. Create an evening out at home - ok, so it would be lovely to be sipping wine Al fresco with a waiter delivering fine food, but why not treat yourself at home? Switch off the tv, set the table with a tablecloth and candles, dress up as though you are going out, open a bottle of wine, put your taste of music on, and spend some time doing a delicious meal (there are plenty of shops willing to help us out with ready made dinners for two if you don't enjoy cooking!). If your kids are slightly older they may enjoy being waiters for you! See where the evening takes you...  
5. Get out whilst the sun shines - I'd love to be a magician and create hot sunshine in Edinburgh in April (its currently 2 degrees - brrrr), but I do try and get out to enjoy the sun when it shines.  
6. Explore areas close to home - if you like new activities and places to explore, try looking close to home. Many people have not done the "tourist" activities in their home town, or done all the day trips. 

If you have any other idea that you would like to share, please comment here so that everyone can benefit!

A relaxation technique

I would like to thank my first yoga teacher, Ursula from London (who I still miss), for teaching me how to relax. This is part of her method and I find that it gives you just enough to think about to stop your mind wandering, but beautifully relaxes body and mind. There is a much longer version called Yoga Nidra, but I am just going to give you the first 5/10 minutes to start you off. If you would like me to create a full, audio version, let me know.

Read through the relaxation first, and try and remember it (or at least understand the concept). Then, ideally, lie on the floor with your arms slightly away from your body and your palms facing upwards. But if you happen to be on a bus, or a chair somewhere, it still works quite well, so give it a try:

• With your eyes closed, feel your body still and steady
• Tell yourself you will stay absolutely still and repeat silently to yourself "I am about to relax"
• Feel the natural rhythm of your breath as you breathe in and out (don't try to change your breathing, just notice the natural rhythm).
• Become aware of any sounds, near and far, let them come and go  
• Notice any smells, sense them coming and going  
• Now is the time to repeat your "sankalpa" or personal affirmation three times. This could be your life goal. (If you don't have one, either listen to my free bonus audio on my website by signing in on the first page, or give me a ring). While our mind is quiet, it has a powerful, positive impact on your life.  
• Become aware of your stillness and notice your lungs expanding as you breathe in and moving down as you breathe out.  
• Take a trip around your body (this bit really works) You can do this quite quickly, but take enough time to focus on each part of your body in turn. Focus on each of these parts:

1. Right hand side: Right thumb, first finger, second finger, third finger, little finger. Palm of the hand, back of the hand, wrist, forearm, elbow, upper arm, shoulder, armpit. Right side of the torso, right waist, hip, thigh - inner thigh and outer thigh, knee - front of the knee and back of the knee, shin, calf, ankle, heel. Right foot - top of the foot, sole, instep, big toe, second toe, third toe, fourth toe, little toe.
2. Left hand side: Left thumb, first finger, second finger, third finger, little finger. Palm of the hand, back of the hand, wrist, forearm, elbow, upper arm, shoulder, armpit. Left side of the torso, left waist, hip, thigh - inner thigh and outer thigh, knee - front of the knee and back of the knee, shin, calf, ankle, heel. Left foot - top of the foot, sole, instep, big toe, second toe, third toe, fourth toe, little toe.
3. Back torso: Buttocks, spine - lower, middle and upper spine. Shoulders - left shoulder, right shoulder and both shoulders together, neck - front and back
4. Head and face: Back of your head, scalp, top of your head, forehead, left and right eyebrows, space between your eyebrows (eyebrow centre), ears - left and right, eye and eyelids - left and right, cheeks - left and right, nose, upper lip, lower lip, chin
5. Front torso: Throat, chest - right and left sides, heart, stomach, diaphragm, navel, abdomen, pelvis
6. Whole body - right leg, left leg, right arm, left arm, head, back of body - shoulders, back and spine, front of body - chest, heart, abdomen. Whole body.

• Repeat your sankalpa 3 times, take a long inhalation and exhalation, stretch your fingers and toes, move your head gently from side to side, roll onto one side before slowly coming up to sitting and opening your eyes

If this looks like too much to remember, see if you can get a friend or partner to read it out to you. Alternatively just think of it as relaxing each part of your body in turn, and focussing briefly on that body part as you do it. That is the core of the exercise.

If you have any other relaxation methods that you would like to share, why not comment here and let everyone know so that they can benefit too?

“The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.” ~ Sydney J Harris

Learn to relax


Do you ever feel like you're running up the down escalator? Do you feel you have to constantly be doing something to get through everything you should do? Could you be a busyaholic?

If this is you, then the chances are, you're addicted to the buzz you get from being under stress. It may even make you feel guilty if you take time off (and I can hear you screaming..."but you don't understand, I have too much to do to take time off..."!).

The theory says that if you want to be a peak performer (in sport, at home or at work) you need periods of intense activity followed by periods of recovery.

"life is not a marathon - it is a series of sprints" ~ Loehr

1.Listen to your body's natural rhythm. Research has shown that your mind and body have an 'ultradian rest phase' every 90 minutes. Notice when you are finding it hard to concentrate and there is a subtle feeling of relaxation. Don't over-ride this with caffeine or ignore it. You may have to listen very hard to your body and mind if you are in the habit of ignoring it.

2.Relax for between 5 and 20 minutes. When you notice this feeling, go with it and relax, twice a day. Your body is able to do important restorative work during this phase, if you let it. You can relax whilst on the bus, cuddling your kids or just slip out for 5 minutes and find a quiet spot (please just don't do it whilst you are driving!).

If you are a busyaholic, by relaxing every day you will become more efficient and less likely to succumb to a stress related illness (and sadly there are many). It may seem trivial, but it could be one of the most beneficial habits you ever acquire.

Decluttering

Quick Quote


"My riches consist, not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants." ~ J. Brotherton

Top Tips on de-cluttering

Christmas is over and we now have too much stuff…Clutter creates stress. And stress zaps your energy and creativity. By taking some time to clear out and tidy, you'll be re-energized and clutter-free.

1. Break the job down into manageable parts. As with all projects, if you view it as one enormous project, it is impossible to take a bite out of the elephant and you will procrastinate. It is better to list which areas you are going to de-clutter by room and then by smaller area/thing, a drawer or a shelf at a time, and prioritise.

2. Schedule some time to do it. Put half an hour on your calendar next week when you are going to do some de-cluttering. It is ideal if you don’t have anything scheduled straight afterwards as you may get really into it! Also, do 5 minute bursts when you get the chance. It’s amazing what you can do in 5 minutes.

3. Put everything into one of 4 "buckets":

•  I'd like to keep it – find it a home and put it there

•  I’ll give it away – find someone else who would like it. Either give it to a friend, a charity shop, or give it away on freecycle:www.freecycle.org/

•  I’d like to sell it – try and sell it on ebay, www.ebay.com/ or gumtree www.gumtree.com/

•  It’s rubbish - Bin it. Also throw away anything from the second and third buckets which are still hanging around after 1 month of trying to find them a home

4. Set up systems so that the clutter doesn’t build up in the same way again. For example, file the piece of paper straight away, don’t have a "filing pile". Throw one item of clothing out for every new one you get.

Do you have any other successful methods for keeping clutter to a minimum ?

Goal setting

It’s the start of a new decade. A great time to put behind you things that are holding you back, clear some space (in your head and your home), and work out what you would really like to achieve this year. And don’t set a New Year’s resolution – they rarely work. Set a goal which excites and motivates you.


Quick Quote

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” ~ Bill Copeland

Set a goal

1.Don’t set a New Year’s resolution. Many people set the same one every year and often don’t last beyond the first week. “I want to give up smoking” is unlikely to yield results as it doesn’t have any emotional attachment. Instead try this:

2.Set a goal. You need a real goal, or a vision to motivate you – to keep you alive and to make sure you have something on which to hang your plan. For the smoker, something along the lines of “healthy enough to run around with my kids without getting out of breath” has an image, emotion and a reason behind it. It is more likely to succeed. Make sure youur goal is what you really want, not what you think you should do. Write it in the present tense as though you have achieved it. It should make you excited but a bit scared too.

3.Believe you can achieve your goal. If you don’t believe it then it is unlikely to happen. If this is hard then find other people who have achieved similar goals. Also delve deep to understand what your fears and obstacles are and work out what you need to do to overcome them.

4.Create a plan. Work out what you need to achieve to reach your goal. Break it down into manageable components and then set a step-by-step plan, with deadlines.

5.Share the journey. Work with one or more people so that you are accountable for achieving your action plan, and have support when the going gets tough.

6.De-clutter. Keep you mind focussed on what you are trying to achieve. Try to get rid of distractions and build in sustained periods of time to achieve certain tasks. If you find this hard, yoga and/or meditation can help. When your mind is clear of clutter and your surroundings are neat and orderly, your stress diminishes.

If you need help with any of the above steps, I’m the person to help you…