A relaxation technique

I would like to thank my first yoga teacher, Ursula from London (who I still miss), for teaching me how to relax. This is part of her method and I find that it gives you just enough to think about to stop your mind wandering, but beautifully relaxes body and mind. There is a much longer version called Yoga Nidra, but I am just going to give you the first 5/10 minutes to start you off. If you would like me to create a full, audio version, let me know.

Read through the relaxation first, and try and remember it (or at least understand the concept). Then, ideally, lie on the floor with your arms slightly away from your body and your palms facing upwards. But if you happen to be on a bus, or a chair somewhere, it still works quite well, so give it a try:

• With your eyes closed, feel your body still and steady
• Tell yourself you will stay absolutely still and repeat silently to yourself "I am about to relax"
• Feel the natural rhythm of your breath as you breathe in and out (don't try to change your breathing, just notice the natural rhythm).
• Become aware of any sounds, near and far, let them come and go  
• Notice any smells, sense them coming and going  
• Now is the time to repeat your "sankalpa" or personal affirmation three times. This could be your life goal. (If you don't have one, either listen to my free bonus audio on my website by signing in on the first page, or give me a ring). While our mind is quiet, it has a powerful, positive impact on your life.  
• Become aware of your stillness and notice your lungs expanding as you breathe in and moving down as you breathe out.  
• Take a trip around your body (this bit really works) You can do this quite quickly, but take enough time to focus on each part of your body in turn. Focus on each of these parts:

1. Right hand side: Right thumb, first finger, second finger, third finger, little finger. Palm of the hand, back of the hand, wrist, forearm, elbow, upper arm, shoulder, armpit. Right side of the torso, right waist, hip, thigh - inner thigh and outer thigh, knee - front of the knee and back of the knee, shin, calf, ankle, heel. Right foot - top of the foot, sole, instep, big toe, second toe, third toe, fourth toe, little toe.
2. Left hand side: Left thumb, first finger, second finger, third finger, little finger. Palm of the hand, back of the hand, wrist, forearm, elbow, upper arm, shoulder, armpit. Left side of the torso, left waist, hip, thigh - inner thigh and outer thigh, knee - front of the knee and back of the knee, shin, calf, ankle, heel. Left foot - top of the foot, sole, instep, big toe, second toe, third toe, fourth toe, little toe.
3. Back torso: Buttocks, spine - lower, middle and upper spine. Shoulders - left shoulder, right shoulder and both shoulders together, neck - front and back
4. Head and face: Back of your head, scalp, top of your head, forehead, left and right eyebrows, space between your eyebrows (eyebrow centre), ears - left and right, eye and eyelids - left and right, cheeks - left and right, nose, upper lip, lower lip, chin
5. Front torso: Throat, chest - right and left sides, heart, stomach, diaphragm, navel, abdomen, pelvis
6. Whole body - right leg, left leg, right arm, left arm, head, back of body - shoulders, back and spine, front of body - chest, heart, abdomen. Whole body.

• Repeat your sankalpa 3 times, take a long inhalation and exhalation, stretch your fingers and toes, move your head gently from side to side, roll onto one side before slowly coming up to sitting and opening your eyes

If this looks like too much to remember, see if you can get a friend or partner to read it out to you. Alternatively just think of it as relaxing each part of your body in turn, and focussing briefly on that body part as you do it. That is the core of the exercise.

If you have any other relaxation methods that you would like to share, why not comment here and let everyone know so that they can benefit too?

“The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.” ~ Sydney J Harris

Learn to relax


Do you ever feel like you're running up the down escalator? Do you feel you have to constantly be doing something to get through everything you should do? Could you be a busyaholic?

If this is you, then the chances are, you're addicted to the buzz you get from being under stress. It may even make you feel guilty if you take time off (and I can hear you screaming..."but you don't understand, I have too much to do to take time off..."!).

The theory says that if you want to be a peak performer (in sport, at home or at work) you need periods of intense activity followed by periods of recovery.

"life is not a marathon - it is a series of sprints" ~ Loehr

1.Listen to your body's natural rhythm. Research has shown that your mind and body have an 'ultradian rest phase' every 90 minutes. Notice when you are finding it hard to concentrate and there is a subtle feeling of relaxation. Don't over-ride this with caffeine or ignore it. You may have to listen very hard to your body and mind if you are in the habit of ignoring it.

2.Relax for between 5 and 20 minutes. When you notice this feeling, go with it and relax, twice a day. Your body is able to do important restorative work during this phase, if you let it. You can relax whilst on the bus, cuddling your kids or just slip out for 5 minutes and find a quiet spot (please just don't do it whilst you are driving!).

If you are a busyaholic, by relaxing every day you will become more efficient and less likely to succumb to a stress related illness (and sadly there are many). It may seem trivial, but it could be one of the most beneficial habits you ever acquire.

Decluttering

Quick Quote


"My riches consist, not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants." ~ J. Brotherton

Top Tips on de-cluttering

Christmas is over and we now have too much stuff…Clutter creates stress. And stress zaps your energy and creativity. By taking some time to clear out and tidy, you'll be re-energized and clutter-free.

1. Break the job down into manageable parts. As with all projects, if you view it as one enormous project, it is impossible to take a bite out of the elephant and you will procrastinate. It is better to list which areas you are going to de-clutter by room and then by smaller area/thing, a drawer or a shelf at a time, and prioritise.

2. Schedule some time to do it. Put half an hour on your calendar next week when you are going to do some de-cluttering. It is ideal if you don’t have anything scheduled straight afterwards as you may get really into it! Also, do 5 minute bursts when you get the chance. It’s amazing what you can do in 5 minutes.

3. Put everything into one of 4 "buckets":

•  I'd like to keep it – find it a home and put it there

•  I’ll give it away – find someone else who would like it. Either give it to a friend, a charity shop, or give it away on freecycle:www.freecycle.org/

•  I’d like to sell it – try and sell it on ebay, www.ebay.com/ or gumtree www.gumtree.com/

•  It’s rubbish - Bin it. Also throw away anything from the second and third buckets which are still hanging around after 1 month of trying to find them a home

4. Set up systems so that the clutter doesn’t build up in the same way again. For example, file the piece of paper straight away, don’t have a "filing pile". Throw one item of clothing out for every new one you get.

Do you have any other successful methods for keeping clutter to a minimum ?

Goal setting

It’s the start of a new decade. A great time to put behind you things that are holding you back, clear some space (in your head and your home), and work out what you would really like to achieve this year. And don’t set a New Year’s resolution – they rarely work. Set a goal which excites and motivates you.


Quick Quote

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” ~ Bill Copeland

Set a goal

1.Don’t set a New Year’s resolution. Many people set the same one every year and often don’t last beyond the first week. “I want to give up smoking” is unlikely to yield results as it doesn’t have any emotional attachment. Instead try this:

2.Set a goal. You need a real goal, or a vision to motivate you – to keep you alive and to make sure you have something on which to hang your plan. For the smoker, something along the lines of “healthy enough to run around with my kids without getting out of breath” has an image, emotion and a reason behind it. It is more likely to succeed. Make sure youur goal is what you really want, not what you think you should do. Write it in the present tense as though you have achieved it. It should make you excited but a bit scared too.

3.Believe you can achieve your goal. If you don’t believe it then it is unlikely to happen. If this is hard then find other people who have achieved similar goals. Also delve deep to understand what your fears and obstacles are and work out what you need to do to overcome them.

4.Create a plan. Work out what you need to achieve to reach your goal. Break it down into manageable components and then set a step-by-step plan, with deadlines.

5.Share the journey. Work with one or more people so that you are accountable for achieving your action plan, and have support when the going gets tough.

6.De-clutter. Keep you mind focussed on what you are trying to achieve. Try to get rid of distractions and build in sustained periods of time to achieve certain tasks. If you find this hard, yoga and/or meditation can help. When your mind is clear of clutter and your surroundings are neat and orderly, your stress diminishes.

If you need help with any of the above steps, I’m the person to help you…

Christmas gift

I just found this story and thought it was beautiful:


It was just a small white envelope

It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas – oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it – overspending… the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma – the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth.

I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church, mostly black. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.

As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, “I wish just one of them could have won,” he said. “They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.”

Mike loved kids – all kids-and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That’s when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church.

On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition – one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas.

It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

Author unknown

Savour Christmas and savour your food

In the mad, busy, run up to Christmas it is easy to get swept up in trying to get through a long to-do list and in trying to keep up with the commercial expectations of Christmas. I think it’s time to slow down, to savour the moment, and to savour our food…

1. If you have kids, try and see Christmas through their eyes – it’s magical! If you don’t have kids around borrow some for a day. A simple piece of tinsel can hold their attention for ages. Cast your mind back to when you were a child. Can you remember how it felt and what was special for you?


2. Think about what you enjoyed about last year’s Christmas season. Ask your family the same. Ask them:

• What do you remember most about last Christmas? 
• What did you like best?
• Was there something you didn’t like about the holiday season (eg too many activites, trying to fit too many people in?) How would you change it?
• If we could only do three things to celebrate Christmas, what would they be?

Try and focus on repeating the good bits and don’t get cajoled into doing the things that are “expected” of you, if you really don’t enjoy them. And take short – cuts without giving yourself a hard time. Talk to people about “obligations” and see if you can find a way around them (a 3 day visit after Christmas may be better than a few hours on the day for example)

3. Enjoy the process. Putting up the tree can be one of the best bits of Christmas, for example. Get the kids to make their own decorations, and I’d like you to let me know what proportion of the baubles you left where the kids hung them and how many you felt compelled to “improve” on! (Perfectionism course coming out next year…)

4. Enjoy each day in the run up to Christmas. Christmas day itself can become an anti-climax. Better to have lots of special moments in the run up to Christmas. Get the kids involved in buying or making presents and wrapping them up. And, if they are crafty, there are loads of things they can do: www.netmums.com/things/Thrifty_Christmas_-_Christmas_Crafts.1757/

5. Make time for quiet time out – a family dvd, board games or just a walk in the crisp air.

6. Make presents as personal as possible. Think of the presents you have treasured most. For me, they are the ones that people have made for me, or have put a lot of thought and effort into. If you’ve got time, hampers are a great way to create something personal. NetMums have some great ideas: www.netmums.com/shop/Christmas_hampers.3611/. Of course, any photo products will be treasured and doing something crafty, such as ceramics, can be priceless too.

7. Try and help someone who is less fortunate. However tight the purse strings are this Christmas, there are many worse off. Donate your time or money to give someone food and love who would otherwise be missing out, visit a pensioner or homeless refuge.

8. Savour your food – one of the best tips for making sure you don’t over-eat during this festive period is to savour every treat. Look at it, smell it, nibble it and let it linger in your mouth for as long as possible. There are no taste buds in your stomach, so you may as well maximise the amount you taste it. Slow down and you will enjoy it more and you’ll be less likely to over-indulge.

9. Plan something fun to do the week after Christmas so that you don't feel any post Christmas let down. Plan to go to an event, take a little trip, or plan a get together with friends.

Aim high

The greatest danger is not that we aim too high and we miss it, but that we aim too low and we reach it – Michelangelo