Don't let Marketa's life have been lost in vain

It is with a heavy heart that I write this as a lovely lady who I coached on her business and through her cancer and who became a friend, has passed away leaving a young daughter. During her final year (although she was positive about recovery) she was an inspiration. She had always wanted to play the piano, so she started learning. She loved yoga and made time to enjoy her yoga with the sunrise whenever possible. She spent time with horses as this gave her peace and strength. And as a means of staying in touch with many friends she wrote a blog with positive, inspiring thoughts. In one of her last photos, she is laughing with her daughter, enjoying precious time with her.

Quick Quote
 

“There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them" - Charles D Gill

Questions which could change your life

Imagine that you only had 1 year to live. What would you do over the next 12 months? What if you only had 1 month?

• What would you stop doing? If you first instinct is your job, then the question is, could you do a different job that that would provide the same level of income? Alternatively maybe you don’t need as much income as you have – down-sizing has made many people happy as they focus on the important things and simplify their lives (whether they chose this route or circumstances forced it). Which chores are you doing that aren't essential (people who know me know I am on a mission to stop people ironing!)
• Who would you see or spend time talking to? Who are the important people in your life. How often do you see or speak to them? Do they know you love them?
• Do you have an unfulfilled dream? Somewhere you would like to go? A skill that you would like to learn? Maybe you could ask for vouchers for Christmas?
• When are you happiest? When do you feel most at peace, in the zone, free?

Obviously there are practical considerations given that, hopefully, you have a lot longer to live, but take action as a result of any insights you have had from these questions. If you find yourself making excuses, then give me a call – my clients will tell you - I will help you overcome them!

My friend no longer has the chance to fulfil any more dreams - but you do...

Do you take the time to understand the other person's point of view?

This is a short story to illustrate a point.
Sand in the lounge.....

A Dad walked into the house after a stressful day at work to find a pile of sand in the middle of the lounge, brought in by his 6 year old daughter, while his wife had been in the shower. This was the last thing that he needed after the day that he had just had so he scolded her and sent her to bed crying.

After cleaning up the sand (still in his work clothes) he went upstairs to change. He peered into his little girl's room to see that she had fallen asleep and, as he did this, his wife emerged from the bathroom and said " Sally said she was going to make you a special sandcastle - did you like it?".

His wife obviously wasn't aware that their daugher had made it in the lounge and he hadn't taken the time to think about the positive intention behind the behaviour, or to listen to what his daughter had to say.....

When could you listen better, and take time to see the other person's point of view before making a judgement?

Continue the holiday feeling

It is normal after a holiday to feel a little blue, but even if you haven't been  on holiday recently, this is a fun exercise to do:

• Close your eyes for a few  seconds, or allow yourself to think without distractions
• Take your mind back  to your (last) holiday and feel how you felt, see the location, hear the sounds,  taste what you ate and drank
• Identify what in particular it was about your  holiday that you loved. Be as specific as you can
• Brainstorm ways in which  you could replicate those feelings on a regular basis and be as creative as you can
• Pick one or two ideas which you can incorporate into your everyday life

If you are struggling  for ideas, here my top ten:

1. Sunshine - get outside at least once a day including a lunch break (however quick)
2. Relaxation - for a few minutes a day, breathe properly, in through your nose so that your stomach extends, and look straight ahead but notice your peripheral vision (or close your eyes and visualise your holiday)
3. Exercise - choose an exercise that you enjoy and incorporate it into your routine
4. Nature - can you explore places near to where you live at the weekend
5. Time with your loved ones - make regular time for the people who are important to you. Make them a priority.
6. Excitement - why not take up a new hobby or challenge?
7. Good food - try cooking some holiday dishes and experiment with new recipes
8. New plans - if you came up with new ideas on holiday, put the next step in your diary and make it happen
9. No emails - create a prioritised plan for your first week back and make sure you create time in the day when you don't check emails
10. The grass is greener - Acknowledge and appreciate what you do have in your life (it's a good habit to think of this every evening - with your kids too).

If you have other ideas, do comment below and let me know...

If you are finding it really hard to go back to work, maybe you need to re-think your job or career.  It may seem idealistic to aim for a job which you enjoy but many people do achieve it. Some just tweak their existing job. Others take a big leap. If you are looking for a change, some career coaching could be the ticket to changing your life for the better: http://www.balancedmum.com/career-coaching/index.php. Give me a call on 07764 235394 and we can discuss how.

How old would you feel if you didn't know how old you were?

I celebrated my 40th birthday this week and I started thinking about age and the stigma it has in our society. I don't feel any older than I did in my twenties except that I am much wiser. If you awoke from a coma with no memory of your age and no mirror, how old would you feel? I think that is the most important thing, not the number derived from your birth certificate.

 

Quick Quote
"You are as young as you feel. If you begin to feel the warmth of your soul, there will be a youthfulness in you that no one will be able to take away from you." ~ John O'Donohue (Anam Cara: A book of celtic wisdom)

 

You are as young as you think
You may have heard the saying that you are as old as you feel. But how you feel is dependant on what you are thinking. So I believe that you are as young as you think. Age is a state of mind. You can choose to think the thoughts that you had 20 years ago, although you would probably choose to get rid of the more silly and negative thoughts!

 

Some tips on staying young:

• Keep up with the changing world  
• Regularly interact with people younger than you  
• Keep learning, including from your children and younger generations  
• Stay open minded - I think people start appearing old when they have fixed views and can't see other perspectives  
• Remain curious  
• Exercise and relax regularly 
• Wear clothes which make you feel younger (bright and fun) 

My grandma, in her 80's was always helping the "old lady" down the road who was 70. Grandma refused to be old! 
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter" ~ Mark Twain

What do you think?

A story about how your perception can change your version of reality

One day a rich father took his son on a trip to the countryside with the sole aim of showing him how poor people can be.

They spent a day and a night at the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"Very good Dad!"

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.
"Yes I did Dad!"

"What did you learn?"

The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a river that flows all the way to the sea. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front garden, they have a whole horizon."

When the little boy was describing what he saw, his father was speechless.

His son continued, "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are!"
Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things?

The moral of this story is: If you have love, friends, family, health, good humour and a positive attitude towards life, you've got everything. You can't buy any of these things. You can have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc... but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing.

The secret to looking and feeling great

Are you one of the 22 million adults in Britain who say that they are unable to take as much exercise as they feel they should? You are not alone! In this post we will look at 7 steps to help you get fitter.

Quick Quote
“Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” ~ Edward Stanley

Put exercise back into your routine

1. Create motivation - describe how you will benefit from exercise or enter an event. If you choose to exercise to fulfil a desire (to be lighter, able to run with the kids, healthier, clearer minded) rather than thinking you should do it, you are more likely to succeed. Doing a sponsored run, walk or other event is also extremely motivating

2. Decide what you enjoy doing. Many of my clients have started Zumba, dance, or a racquet sport. I am learning to ice-skate. Other clients have taken up yoga, walking, swimming or exercising with their kids (and don't just watch them!). Enjoyment is key to sustainability.

3. Find out where you can do this activity - do the research and find out what is available
Work out when you can do it.

4. Make sure it fits with your schedule - on the way to or from work for example. Many gyms give you cheap rates if your child is in a class. If you do it first thing in the morning you will feel great all day!

5. Put it in your diary for the next 2 months as a regular appointment so that it becomes a habit (if you can) - make it sacred time. If you can't make it, move the time, don't delete it.

6. Find someone else to do it with - you are more likely to keep it up if someone else is there to encourage you

7. Bonus exercise - walk instead of driving and run up the stairs instead of taking the lift - I know you've heard it before but...

By the way, don't aim for 7 times a week as you are likely to fail and may give up altogether. Start doing something once, twice or three times a week and build up.

If you can't find the time, give me a ring! I help people, both through coaching and through my time management courses, find the time for the important things - it is possible!
Why not share your new exercise by commenting below- there's nothing like telling everyone what you are doing to create accountability!

Are you missing a vital ingredient?

It's time for new beginnings...
Spring is in the air. The sun is shining and the daffodils are out. It's a time for new beginnings. This is reflected in an upsurge in clients asking for career coaching...People are deciding that they are fed up with their current situation but aren't sure what the "right answer" is. That's where I can help (http://www.balancedmum.com/career-coaching/index.php), but more of that later. Often dissatisfaction arises when the values which are important to you aren't being met. It needn't be so...

Quick Quote
"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice." ~ Steven D. Woodhull

Which of your values are not being met?

Our values change throughout our life and often change considerably after significant events such as becoming a parent, losing a loved one, health issues or being made redundant. Below are a list of typical values. Try this exercise:

1.Write down all the values from the list below which are very important to you

2.Circle those very important values which are not currently being fully met. It is likely that these are your pain points

3.Write down the changes to your current occupation/situation which would help you fulfil those values (you may find this difficult)

Skills & Knowledge: Knowlegeable, New frontiers, Skillful, Complexity, Self development, Intellectual stimulation, Challenge

Creativity: Communicate ideas, express uniqueness, create beauty, create ideas

Control: Freedom, security, clarity, predictability, responsibility, precision work, take risks

Purpose: Achievement, helping individuals, helping society, making a difference, working towards common goals, see results, excitement, enjoyment

Status: High living standard, power & authority, command respect, promotion opportunities, influential, receive recognition, adequate remuneration

Environment: Public contact, fast pace, physical, outdoors, manual, ideal location, acceptable commute, variety

Culture: High morals and ethics, close relationships, supportive, competitive

Need help to work out how to fulfil more of your values? Contact me on 07764 235394

Find a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.