Friday, 16 December 2011
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Create time through effective delegation
My 8 year old is keen to help less fortunate children in Africa (charities at the bottom) and I suggested he hold a cake and bracelet stall at his school. My aim was for him to own the event and do the leg work with my role to gently guide and to offer suggestions where appropriate. What a challenge! How tempting I found it to jump in and write the emails for him (much quicker), to design the posters for him (much more effective) and to do the baking for him (much more efficient). My delegation skills were tested to the limit and I don't mind admitting that I found it hard. But, through empowering him, he has gained skills, confidence and is proud of his achievement. It was an investment. I would like to share the lessons I learnt, some tips on delegating and I would encourage you to delegate as much as possible to people at home and at work. The more the load is shared, the more we can all enjoy the festive period.
Quick Quote
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." ~ General George Smith Patton, Jr
What can your kids and colleagues do that are on your "to do list"? Start with your home life and then re-do it for work if it's relevant to you:
* Create a list of all the tasks you have to do (this is a useful thing to do anyway)
* Write down all the people you could delegate to. This list should include everyone over the age of 2 in your house (even 2/3 year olds can clean skirting boards with wet-wipes!)
* Allocate some of the tasks to each of the people. Tip - If you were taken ill and couldn't get out of your bed until Christmas, who would you delegate what to? You can direct from your bed but you can't do any of the tasks yourself. It may sound scary, but give the thought process a go.
* Ask people which tasks they would like to do (getting them to choose rather than dictating is likely to get more buy-in)
* Make sure they are clear what the task entails. They need to know what a successful outcome looks like? How will they know they have finished? When do they need to do it by? Giving people flexibility on timing allows them to fit it around how they feel and what they have going on (although you may need to be stricter with the under 5's!)
* Empower them by teaching them anything which will help them - skills, knowledge, tips.
* Check progress regularly - give feedback (some positive before the constructive feedback) and help solve problems but DON'T take over!
* Celebrate their achievements and show appreciation.
This point is on its own because it is key:
* Let people do things their own individual way. There is no right way to do things. Do not, under any circumstances re-do a job which someone has done because it is not perfect - you know what I mean! There are many ways to stack a dish-washer and I guarantee that your 5 year old won't stack it the most efficient way. Say thank you, close the door and put it on! And there is no perfect way to decorate a Christmas tree either. Celebrate everyone's creativity and go with the flow.
What do you find hard to delegate? Do you have any tips on delegating? Please share your ideas (and let me know if you have problems commenting below.
If you find any of the above steps hard, give me a ring on 07764 235394 and I will help you.
"Give up control even if it means the employees have to make some mistakes. - Frank Flores."
Quick Quote
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." ~ General George Smith Patton, Jr
What can your kids and colleagues do that are on your "to do list"? Start with your home life and then re-do it for work if it's relevant to you:
* Create a list of all the tasks you have to do (this is a useful thing to do anyway)
* Write down all the people you could delegate to. This list should include everyone over the age of 2 in your house (even 2/3 year olds can clean skirting boards with wet-wipes!)
* Allocate some of the tasks to each of the people. Tip - If you were taken ill and couldn't get out of your bed until Christmas, who would you delegate what to? You can direct from your bed but you can't do any of the tasks yourself. It may sound scary, but give the thought process a go.
* Ask people which tasks they would like to do (getting them to choose rather than dictating is likely to get more buy-in)
* Make sure they are clear what the task entails. They need to know what a successful outcome looks like? How will they know they have finished? When do they need to do it by? Giving people flexibility on timing allows them to fit it around how they feel and what they have going on (although you may need to be stricter with the under 5's!)
* Empower them by teaching them anything which will help them - skills, knowledge, tips.
* Check progress regularly - give feedback (some positive before the constructive feedback) and help solve problems but DON'T take over!
* Celebrate their achievements and show appreciation.
This point is on its own because it is key:
* Let people do things their own individual way. There is no right way to do things. Do not, under any circumstances re-do a job which someone has done because it is not perfect - you know what I mean! There are many ways to stack a dish-washer and I guarantee that your 5 year old won't stack it the most efficient way. Say thank you, close the door and put it on! And there is no perfect way to decorate a Christmas tree either. Celebrate everyone's creativity and go with the flow.
What do you find hard to delegate? Do you have any tips on delegating? Please share your ideas (and let me know if you have problems commenting below.
If you find any of the above steps hard, give me a ring on 07764 235394 and I will help you.
"Give up control even if it means the employees have to make some mistakes. - Frank Flores."
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
A poignant poem by an old man
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man...
What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... . . . . With faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am. . . . .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. ... .. Who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . .... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . ..... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . . . ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We may all, one day, be there, too!
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man...
What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... . . . . With faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am. . . . .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. ... .. Who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . .... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . ..... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . . . ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We may all, one day, be there, too!
Friday, 4 November 2011
Don't let Marketa's life have been lost in vain
It is with a heavy heart that I write this as a lovely lady who I coached on her business and through her cancer and who became a friend, has passed away leaving a young daughter. During her final year (although she was positive about recovery) she was an inspiration. She had always wanted to play the piano, so she started learning. She loved yoga and made time to enjoy her yoga with the sunrise whenever possible. She spent time with horses as this gave her peace and strength. And as a means of staying in touch with many friends she wrote a blog with positive, inspiring thoughts. In one of her last photos, she is laughing with her daughter, enjoying precious time with her.
Imagine that you only had 1 year to live. What would you do over the next 12 months? What if you only had 1 month?
Obviously there are practical considerations given that, hopefully, you have a lot longer to live, but take action as a result of any insights you have had from these questions. If you find yourself making excuses, then give me a call – my clients will tell you - I will help you overcome them!
My friend no longer has the chance to fulfil any more dreams - but you do...
Quick Quote
“There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them" - Charles D Gill
Questions which could change your life
Questions which could change your life
Imagine that you only had 1 year to live. What would you do over the next 12 months? What if you only had 1 month?
- What would you stop doing? If you first instinct is your job, then the question is, could you do a different job that that would provide the same level of income? Alternatively maybe you don’t need as much income as you have – down-sizing has made many people happy as they focus on the important things and simplify their lives (whether they chose this route or circumstances forced it). Which chores are you doing that aren't essential (people who know me know I am on a mission to stop people ironing!)
- Who would you see or spend time talking to? Who are the important people in your life. How often do you see or speak to them? Do they know you love them?
- Do you have an unfulfilled dream? Somewhere you would like to go? A skill that you would like to learn? Maybe you could ask for vouchers for Christmas?
- When are you happiest? When do you feel most at peace, in the zone, free?
Obviously there are practical considerations given that, hopefully, you have a lot longer to live, but take action as a result of any insights you have had from these questions. If you find yourself making excuses, then give me a call – my clients will tell you - I will help you overcome them!
My friend no longer has the chance to fulfil any more dreams - but you do...
Friday, 9 September 2011
Do you take the time to understand the other person's point of view?
This is a short story to illustrate a point.
Sand in the lounge.....
After cleaning up the sand (still in his work clothes) he went upstairs to change. He peered into his little girl's room to see that she had fallen asleep and, as he did this, his wife emerged from the bathroom and said " Sally said she was going to make you a special sandcastle - did you like it?".
Sand in the lounge.....
A Dad walked into the house after a stressful day at work to find a pile of sand in the middle of the lounge, brought in by his 6 year old daughter, while his wife had been in the shower. This was the last thing that he needed after the day that he had just had so he scolded her and sent her to bed crying.
After cleaning up the sand (still in his work clothes) he went upstairs to change. He peered into his little girl's room to see that she had fallen asleep and, as he did this, his wife emerged from the bathroom and said " Sally said she was going to make you a special sandcastle - did you like it?".
His wife obviously wasn't aware that their daugher had made it in the lounge and he hadn't taken the time to think about the positive intention behind the behaviour, or to listen to what his daughter had to say.....
When could you listen better, and take time to see the other person's point of view before making a judgement?
Friday, 26 August 2011
Continue the holiday feeling
It is normal after a holiday to feel a little blue, but even if you haven't been on holiday recently, this is a fun exercise to do:
If you are finding it really hard to go back to work, maybe you need to re-think your job or career. It may seem idealistic to aim for a job which you enjoy but many people do achieve it. Some just tweak their existing job. Others take a big leap. If you are looking for a change, some career coaching could be the ticket to changing your life for the better: http://www.balancedmum.com/career-coaching/index.php. Give me a call on 07764 235394 and we can discuss how.
- Close your eyes for a few seconds, or allow yourself to think without distractions
- Take your mind back to your (last) holiday and feel how you felt, see the location, hear the sounds, taste what you ate and drank
- Identify what in particular it was about your holiday that you loved. Be as specific as you can
- Brainstorm ways in which you could replicate those feelings on a regular basis and be as creative as you can
- Pick one or two ideas which you can incorporate into your everyday life
- Sunshine - get outside at least once a day including a lunch break (however quick)
- Relaxation - for a few minutes a day, breathe properly, in through your nose so that your stomach extends, and look straight ahead but notice your peripheral vision (or close your eyes and visualise your holiday)
- Exercise - choose an exercise that you enjoy and incorporate it into your routine
- Nature - can you explore places near to where you live at the weekend
- Time with your loved ones - make regular time for the people who are important to you. Make them a priority.
- Excitement - why not take up a new hobby or challenge?
- Good food - try cooking some holiday dishes and experiment with new recipes
- New plans - if you came up with new ideas on holiday, put the next step in your diary and make it happen
- No emails - create a prioritised plan for your first week back and make sure you create time in the day when you don't check emails
- The grass is greener - Acknowledge and appreciate what you do have in your life (it's a good habit to think of this every evening - with your kids too).
If you are finding it really hard to go back to work, maybe you need to re-think your job or career. It may seem idealistic to aim for a job which you enjoy but many people do achieve it. Some just tweak their existing job. Others take a big leap. If you are looking for a change, some career coaching could be the ticket to changing your life for the better: http://www.balancedmum.com/career-coaching/index.php. Give me a call on 07764 235394 and we can discuss how.
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
How old would you feel if you didn't know how old you were?
I celebrated my 40th birthday this week and I started thinking about age and the stigma it has in our society. I don't feel any older than I did in my twenties except that I am much wiser. If you awoke from a coma with no memory of your age and no mirror, how old would you feel? I think that is the most important thing, not the number derived from your birth certificate.
Quick Quote
"You are as young as you feel. If you begin to feel the warmth of your soul, there will be a youthfulness in you that no one will be able to take away from you." ~ John O'Donohue (Anam Cara: A book of celtic wisdom)
You are as young as you think
You may have heard the saying that you are as old as you feel. But how you feel is dependant on what you are thinking. So I believe that you are as young as you think. Age is a state of mind. You can choose to think the thoughts that you had 20 years ago, although you would probably choose to get rid of the more silly and negative thoughts!
Some tips on staying young:
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter" ~ Mark Twain
What do you think?
"You are as young as you feel. If you begin to feel the warmth of your soul, there will be a youthfulness in you that no one will be able to take away from you." ~ John O'Donohue (Anam Cara: A book of celtic wisdom)
You may have heard the saying that you are as old as you feel. But how you feel is dependant on what you are thinking. So I believe that you are as young as you think. Age is a state of mind. You can choose to think the thoughts that you had 20 years ago, although you would probably choose to get rid of the more silly and negative thoughts!
- Keep up with the changing world
- Regularly interact with people younger than you
- Keep learning, including from your children and younger generations
- Stay open minded - I think people start appearing old when they have fixed views and can't see other perspectives
- Remain curious
- Exercise and relax regularly
- Wear clothes which make you feel younger (bright and fun)
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter" ~ Mark Twain
What do you think?
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